On a Scale of One-to-Ten? or Can I Just Shove a Finger Down My Throat? (11/18/08 Tuesday)

About Julie not asking me questions: neither do I ask after someone who doesn't interest me. I've known this all along, but denied the obvious parallel. If I'm finally dropping the scales from my eyes, it's because it's the only way to make sense of myself and this whole affair. How could logic have helped when I was denying entry to the true components of the equation? (But do I have to answer that question of yesterday?) Now I really do want answers to the questions in the letter. If she wasn't interested in me, why meet me at the coffee shop?--But I'm going to a bad place, aren't I? She's shy, too; can I not believe that? Can I not see that in myself? That seems to be something else about myself I'm holding against her. How could I not empathize with that? Do I really dislike myself that much?