The way I act around Julie begs me to consider how I might appear to her. My behavior is of someone self-conscious, self-absorbed, and quietly crying for attention. Needy. My hope to be noticed by her is an arrogance, an insecure puffing-up. There is nothing to gain from this besides a label of "odd." Who wants odd? And yet how do I give her attention? How do I care beyond getting what I want? How can I leave my self behind in order to understand Julie?
I haven't worked with her all week. If she hasn't switched again, I'll maybe get a chance Saturday. I miss our time on the desk together. I'd like to let her know that, or at least that I enjoy our time together. The big trick for me would be to do it without coming across as creepy.
^"Appear to her"? I didn't. At all. Better than needy, arrogant, self-absorbed, etc., I suppose. My discretion was nothing but stress.
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